Some Things You Just Can't Forget
by lostcowgirl
Summary: What started as a chance to be alone by the river turned into a nightmare. They got back to Dodge but Matt wasn't the same. Set at the start of Season 7
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1 – At Last Time to Relax**

Dodge City wasn't always the Queen of the Kansas cow towns, but the cattle trade has expanded every year since Matt Dillon was named marshal. With only the jailer Chester Goode to assist him on any regular basis most of the work during the season, as it came to be known, fell squarely on the big man's shoulders from the early arrivals in March trying to get a leg up on their more established competitors to the stragglers in October and November who scrounged together whatever herd they could, whether they obtained them legally or not. The town's many saloons, gambling dens and dance halls overflowed during the height of this annual influx of cattlemen and associated hangers on. Naturally, the area's only doctor had more than his fair share of business from the resulting knifings and shootings.

That's where things stood in late October of 1872 five months after the tall lawman's 32nd birthday at the start of his seventh year as US Marshal headquartered in Dodge City and also by extension the local law as well. This particular Saturday dawned bright and clear and unseasonably warm. The swarms of men, girls and cattle who descended upon the town for the season had tapered off to a relative trickle so the previous night Matt had asked the red-haired owner of the Long Branch, the classiest saloon, Kitty Russell, to take some time off to go on a picnic with him and maybe a little fishing by the Arkansas at a little secluded spot about five miles from town. Judging from the weather, Matt thought, God must have approved of this hard-working couple taking time off to relax. By evening they'd both be hard at work again.

After giving Chester his instructions on their way back from breakfast, Matt strolled over to Moss Grimick's stable to arrange for a buggy to drive to the chosen spot along the riverbank. Moss promised to leave it behind the Long Branch in an hour. It would be ready and waiting with their fishing gear even if Kitty hadn't quite got her day started. He needn't have worried about any delay. He spotted the beautiful redhead crossing the street from the saloon with Doc Adams to eat her own breakfast and arrange for a picnic basket from the café. It was definitely a very promising day.

An hour later, as Matt handed his lady fair into their carriage he couldn't help but feel like the youth he'd been during that year or so after he'd first come to Dodge on his way to adventure and possibly romance farther south and west. He'd found adventure all right and even some romance, but he reckoned he'd be a married man with a passel of young'uns had he met Kitty while a lad in Texas working as a cowboy for the Fallon family, the folks who fostered the gangling, wild and starving youth. Although both of them had lived for a time in that large state, he joined the Union Army not long after her arrival. He did remember catching a glimpse of a fetching young girl with flaming red hair when a stage passed within a few feet of his cavalry unit. He could never be sure, but he was convinced that was his first peek at the young woman who now possessed his heart even if the oath he swore when he took up the badge he now wore prevented him from making what they had official and as permanent as the life of a lawman with his reputation allowed.

As the sun climbed higher in the sky and their stomachs began to grumble the couple turned from the sunny riverbank to where they'd spread out their blanket under the shade of a stand of cottonwoods. First, however, while Kitty got their picnic lunch ready, Matt cleaned the fish they'd caught and would bring back to town to share with Chester and Doc for supper. He placed them on a line in the moving stream to keep them fresh until they were ready to turn toward home.

"You're just in time, Cowboy. Come. Stretch out beside me. Once I've got some food in you I'm sure there's something we might do to wile away the time that will be more than enjoyable for both of us."

The man so well hidden behind the badge he wore over his heart smiled that certain boyish grin in response to her invitation. Responsibilities were forgotten, at least for the next few hours. Until then all that mattered was the two of them even if a part of him was always the ever alert lawman.


	2. Chapter 2 - Pleasant Reminiscences

**Chapter 2 – Pleasant Reminiscences**

The picnic lunch, despite the amount of food Kitty ordered from Delmonico's, was quickly devoured. Both of them had hearty appetites although Kitty, despite knowing Matt for as long as she had, underestimated just how hungry the large man she loved could get. Unlike Chester, if the need arose he could forego a meal or subsist on next to nothing without complaint, but given the opportunity he could eat far more than the ordinary man, especially when his appetite was stimulated by his surroundings. Then again, he was much larger than any ordinary man with his broad shoulders, strong muscles and six-foot, seven-inch height and needed a lot of fuel to keep going for any length of time.

Their meal over, Matt helped Kitty carry their dishes to the river to wash them off. Once they were clean, he helped bring them back to their blanket in the shade and leaned back, his head supported by his bent left arm, watching contentedly as she put them away in the now empty basket. Gallantly he rose and carried the basket back to the buggy, giving her a chance to lean back and watch him. She noticed his badge was no longer pinned in its normal spot above his heart when he turned to walk back toward her. This was going to be a very special afternoon indeed she thought to herself.

A minute later he joined her on the blanket, removing his gun belt and placing it with his hat behind them as together they let all their cares and responsibilities drift away. As the couple snuggled together enjoying the sensation of full stomachs and the feel of each other, their thoughts turned to what might have happened if they'd met when they were both in their teens. Instead Matt had found first Cara at 16 and then Dolly Winters when he turned 18 and Kitty had been enamored of Cole Yankton when she was 13.

"If we'd met when I was 16, you'd have been only ten. That's just about when your mother passed, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was. Since we're pretending I could have been 13 and for some reason I came to Texas. Actually, I was brought to Laredo as soon as I turned 14. You could have still been 16 if it was before your birthday in May if I pretended to be 14 instead of 10 and that it all occurred when I actually did turn 14."

They soon turned this imaginary meeting into a game as to just where and when they might possibly have met. Matt drew Kitty closer, seeking her lips with his. For now the world held only the two of them. They were mere youths with no responsibilities beyond making sure they had food in their bellies and clothes on their backs and their entire life ahead of them.

It was fine to think the world was completely theirs, but it wasn't true. He had the responsibility to keep an entire town and the surrounding countryside's citizens safe. In fact all of Kansas was his to keep safe and, if called upon by Washington or while chasing down one of the many killers and spoilers, just about anywhere on the frontier. Kitty had the responsibility of keeping a successful business not only running but growing while waiting for the man beside her to, as Doc once told her, "stop playing with guns and start raising something with her." She laughed at the thought. Her cowboy playing with guns rather than the deadly reality of them that went with that badge brought her back to that little game they'd been playing. She snuggled closer to him to return the kiss he'd begun.

That first kiss led to a longer and deeper one. Soon their bodies molded to one another in a seemingly impossibly close embrace. Matt pulled back just enough to be able to gaze at this woman whom he loved enough to know, although she was all his if he wanted, he had to let her go off with another man if that man could give her the home and family he couldn't. This time she was the one who pulled their bodies back into that close embrace that only two lovers perfectly in sync could manage, her thoughts mirroring his own. It was best to take advantage of what time they had before duty called them away.

Their mouths sought every spot that was uncovered repeatedly. Their fingers stroked and caressed every inch of each other's body, clothed or not. Words were entirely unnecessary. They had a need to become one physically like they already were mentally. If possible, their entwined bodies reached an even higher level of passion until there was nothing left but to undress enough to make that complete physical union possible. As a first step, Matt began to unbutton her shirtwaist and she his shirt. Her hand then migrated to his belt and the buttons of his pants as his reached under her dress and petticoat, pushing them slowly upward so he could stroke her inner thighs. That was as far as they got.


	3. Chapter 3 - When Everything Was Perfect

**Chapter 3 – Just When Everything Was About Perfect**

"Hey, Pa! Yah see them two down close to the river?"

"I surely do Hez. You boys have growed enough tah need a woman & I sher could use one as well back at the shack since yer ma died. Let's get us a wee closer so we's ken git a good look at her."

"She's a looker all right from what I ken see of her, Pa. It's jist her & her man takin' up room in what ken be our camp fer the night."

"Yer right about that Zeb. They might even have somethin' worth takin' as arn 'sides the gal. We'll sneak up on 'em & bring him to after we's got 'em secure so's we kin give him an idee of what real men kin do with a looker like her. Big as he is, he won't be much of a man after that so he just might welcome a belly full of lead and she'll know she's now arn. Ol' Hiram Trask gets what's owin' tah him and his boys. 'Pears like they left us a good horse an', unless I miss my guess, a mess o' fish for our supper from the looks o' thangs. We'll have her cook 'em while him what used ter be a man lies a dyin'. We'll leave him an' the buggy when we move on in the mornin' even tho' a dead man don't need it an' we shor don't need ta be draggin' no wagon. Red there needs to git used tah travelin' without no female comforts. She's lucky we'll let her ride astride her own horse, without a saddle o' course."

Had Matt not let his attention wander, he would have reacted sooner. As it was that prickly sensation that warned of approaching danger came a minute too late for him to grab his peacemaker from where it lay in the holster within arm's reach above his head. That wasn't the case, so instead of being able to turn and fire at each of the approaching men, or more accurately man and boy, he never got a chance to do more than raise his head and never saw the youngest of the three hiders. It might have been better if he hadn't because he raised it right into the butt end of a rifle. With perfect timing, the third member of the party grabbed Kitty around the neck and mouth to cut off any chance for her to scream as Matt slumped forward.

Using his free left arm, 16 year-old Hezekiah Trask pulled Kitty's left arm behind her back and propelled her in front of him toward one of the smaller cottonwoods. When they were a foot from the chosen tree he, still holding onto her left arm, reached his hand into his pocket for his bandana. Now placing both arms around her he quickly placed the cloth into her mouth when she opened it to try to scream. By this time they were directly in front of the tree as he again shifted his hold on her, temporarily freeing her right arm as he spun her around to face toward the now empty blanket. The trunk was just small enough that he could step behind it while keeping hold of her left arm to bring it behind the tree and continue to hold on while he quickly did the same with the right. Taking both her arms in his left, Hez used a small length of rope in his pocket to tie her hands together behind the tree. Pushing on her arms none too gently he forced her to a sitting position. Catching a longer length of rope his father threw to him, the boy looped it around her neck, effectively immobilizing the redhead.

Meanwhile, his father and 18 year-old brother Zebulon had dragged the unconscious Matt to a larger tree opposite but slightly to the north so view would be unobstructed and tied up the marshal in a similar manner but with the longer rope around his chest and his neck. With their captives secured, Hez checked the riverbank for the cleaned fish the couple had caught earlier, Zeb unhitched the rented gelding from the buggy and checked the vehicle for whatever might prove useful or valuable and Hiram patted down Matt for any hidden weapons or valuables. He found a pocketknife, a watch and a tin badge.

"Well, would yah looky here, boys! We done got us a law dog. Makin' him watch us do fer his woman will be even more pleasurable. First though, as soon as we git a fire goin' an' a spit over it fer to cook up these fish, we'll make Red show us how good she is at feedin' the men what now owns her. Seems the law's been of some use 'sides providin' a woman. He done readied our supper fer us."

Matt awoke when the leader threw the bucket of water he and Kitty had been planning to use to keep the catfish fresh for the drive home at him. He must have been out for a while because there was a fire going and a spit was hung over it that had obviously held the fish the three had finished eating. They hadn't used any plates or utensils because none were visible, but the remains were scattered near the fire where each of the three had been sitting. The man, who was almost as tall as Matt and even broader, was tying a still struggling, gagged Kitty's arms to a tree opposite to the one he was trussed up to. He noticed no fish near Kitty and there certainly wasn't any by him, but then again he had no way of eating it if there was one right next to him.

He had a fierce headache thanks to the blow from the rifle, but that was soon forgotten as he realized what the filthy hiders had planned for Kitty. The brutish man now that he'd secured her to the tree in a sitting position with her hands were over her head and what amounted to a noose around her neck was completing the unbuttoning of the top of her shirtwaist that he'd begun earlier. After lifting the skirts of her dress and petticoat, he used his knife to cut away her undergarments to expose her breasts and privates. Seemingly satisfied with what he saw, the filthy excuse for a man stood between her legs. He unbuttoned his pants and lowered himself, spreading her legs further as she squirmed as much as she could to get away from his touch while his boys leered and egged him on. All Matt could do was struggle against the ropes binding him to his tree, but try as he might he couldn't free himself. He couldn't even wriggle his hands, which were rapidly growing numb.

Matt was desperate and frustrated as he put every last ounce of strength into trying to break free. Alas, all the determination in the world wasn't enough for him to break free and put himself between Kitty and the three pigs. He was sure they'd searched him and found his badge and pocketknife. They'd obviously found his watch because the leader, the boys' father, he assumed, it was hanging from his shirt pocket when he'd turned toward him as he untied his rope belt to make sure Matt had no doubt as to what he planned for Kitty.

"You're all dead men if you follow through on what you're planning. I'll track you to the ends of the earth if I have to and it won't be as a lawman, but as a man!" Matt shouted at them.

"You bein' a law dog just makes takin' yer woman all the more pleasurable. As to trackin' us, no matter how good yah reckon yah are now, dead men cain't track fer beans. I or one of my boys plan on shootin' yah in the belly once we finish enjoyin' yer woman. She's already arn. Yer as good as dead but it's worth it tah make yah watch afore we shoot yah an' drag her away on yer horse."

"Our marshal may not be in a position right now to keep you away from Miss Kitty, but my pa and I are. Just all of you back away from her," Tom Bergman stated.

The two boys turned away from their pa and what he was aiming to do to Kitty and lunged toward their rifles that were leaning against the two trees closest to them. They grabbed them, but never got to use them as Tom and his father Phil fired their rifles simultaneously killing both boys instantly. Neither would reach Tom's 21 years.

"Yah done kilt Hez an' Zeb, but yah ain't gonna kill Hiram Trask without a fight, " the hider claimed as he bent toward the nearest of his son's rifle and began to straighten with it in his hand.

The Bergmans again fired as one. Both bullets struck the would-be rapist. The hiders taken care of, Phil went behind Kitty and Tom behind Matt to cut the ropes holding them with their pocketknives. Phil, being the decent man he is and wanting to set a proper example for his son, walked behind the tree that was used to hold Kitty in place and turned away from her as soon as he freed her so she could smooth down her skirts and re-button the top of her shirtwaist. Tom did likewise from behind the tree that had held Matt. By the time she indicated she was again decent, and they had turned back toward their two freed friends, Matt was slumped forward, out cold. Nothing they did could rouse him.


	4. Chapter 4 - Awakening to Confusion

**Chapter 4 – Awakening to Confusion**

Kitty didn't have to ask. The Bergmans immediately helped her get Matt into the buggy. Once he was positioned in such a way that it was highly unlikely that in his unconscious state he'd fall out as she drove as fast as she dared back into town and Doc, Kitty gathered up the reins. She was ready to let father and son deal with the dead outlaws, but Phil put one hand on the side of the buggy and the other on the reins.

"Miss Kitty, I reckon it was a good thing me and my boy Tom was out huntin' and come upon you and the marshal when we done. You be careful gettin' him to Doc while we head back to our place to fetch a couple of shovels so we can give them three a decent burial even though they don't deserve it. That is, it's what we'll do unless you'd rather one or both of us ride along with you."

"Thank you, Phil, but I can manage getting us home on my own. Sam and Chester can help me get Matt upstairs to Doc so he can check him over."

Matt never stirred as Kitty drove back to town. She didn't turn her head to look at him too often so she wouldn't hit something that she'd missed seeing that would jostle him more than absolutely necessary. However, that didn't mean her mind didn't wander back to the Trasks' arrival and what might have happened if Phil & Tom hadn't shown up just when they did. It wasn't so much the trauma of the man and two boys forcing themselves on her. It was that her cowboy would have been helpless to do anything but watch. At least he was spared that. She only hoped Matt wasn't too badly hurt.

It seemed to take forever but she finally made it back to town and reined in next to Doc's stairs. During the entire hour it took to get home Matt never stirred. If it weren't for his steady breathing, she would have thought him dead. She was ready to call out for help so she wouldn't have to leave his side, but because they were later than expected Chester and Sam had already run out of the Long Branch when they heard her drive up in order to do whatever was necessary. She led the way as the two men carried the inert body of their friend up the steep set of steps. Doc, having heard the commotion and then looking out his window, had opened his door wide so they could carry him directly to his examining table.

"There's no bleeding, but he has a couple of good sized lumps on either side of his head. We'll know more about the extent of the damage when he comes to."

Doc quickly chased Sam and Chester out of his office so he could talk to Kitty alone while keeping an eye on the inert form of the man he looked upon as almost a son. She tried her best to hold back the tears as she related the entire series of events, but finally gave into deep, nearly uncontrollable sobs. Doc did his best to console her like any father would do for a daughter who'd been through what she and that overgrown civil servant she loved had been through.

There was no change in his tall patient until late that night when Matt briefly awoke, but nowhere near long enough for Doc to learn if he was aware of his surroundings. He decided to take no chances and leave him exactly where he was until he could make a better determination of the extent of the brain injury. Accordingly, he didn't send Kitty for help from the Long Branch to carefully move the unconscious man to a bed. Instead, the two sat in chairs on either side of his examining/operating table to spend the night watching for any change.

When Chester and Sam stopped by after sunrise, Doc woke Kitty and tried to get her to have some breakfast or at least a cup of coffee that wasn't from a pot he'd made. He finally, with Chester & Sam's gentle yet firm persuasion, convinced her to go to Delmonico's and bring him back a tray, after she'd eaten, with two bowls of porridge, toast and coffee. The second bowl was in case Matt woke up and felt hungry.

As if he sensed he was alone with the town physician, Matt finally awoke. Doc had just turned back to his patient and taken his wrist to check his pulse when the big man opened his eyes and mouth.

"I'm not seeing too clearly. It probably has something to do with this awful headache, but you sure look like Doc Adams."

"Welcome back, Matt. You're right on two counts, which is a very good sign. I'm Doc Adams and your blurred vision has everything to do with your headache. Two blows to the head will do that to a man. You've got a severe concussion."

"What brings you to Yuma, Doc?" Matt continued, ignoring Doc's diagnosis. "You're lucky I'm still here."

"Matt, this is gonna sound strange, but you're suffering from a concussion," the good doctor replied paraphrasing his earlier statement before continuing. "How old are you and what month and year is this?"

"I'm near 16. It's the end of February '56. Why?"

"I was afraid of that. It so happens you're in Dodge City in my office," Doc replied holding back the fact that the patient on his examining table was a man of 32 in early October 1872.

"I reckon it's not February either. I must have traveled some between then and now to get back to Dodge. Last I remember I was planning on heading to Texas. I heard there was work I might scare up along the border. Reckon it didn't pan out. What's the month?"

Just as Doc replied that it was October, Kitty returned carrying a tray from Delmonico's. Doc motioned for her to put it on his desk and to take the seat next to the roll-top. He soon joined her, taking the desk chair. Before she could ask any questions, Doc told her so quietly, it was nearly a whisper, that Matt was awake, but not anywhere near recovered. He finally let her talk once his explanation of the situation was complete.

"Doc, if I went over to him would he recognize me?"

"I don't know, honey. He might know you despite his blurred vision and thinking he's a boy in 1856, but don't expect it. I don't want to pry, but what were you two talking about just before the attack? It just might help."

"We were joking about what our lives might have been like had we met when he was 16 in Texas while knowing it was impossible because I was a ten-year-old girl in New Orleans. I didn't come to Laredo until after my 14th birthday in February of '61 while Matt turned 21 that May and already had at least one girlfriend I know of, Cara. He hadn't met Dolly Winters yet."

The young woman and doctor of late middle age were unaware the patient had turned his head at the sound of the door opening and watched the approach of the newcomer carrying a tray or what he wanted. He didn't hear their whispered conversation, but he was anxious to get a closer view of her. Something about her was very familiar. It was as if some part of his befuddled mind knew he had a strong connection to her. At least, even with his impaired vision, he could tell her hair color. If she came closer he might be able to discern the color of her eyes. Maybe both clues would help set things straight for him. As strong has the pull was, he didn't feel up to moving any more than he already had.

"Hey Doc! Why don't you bring that redheaded girl you're talking to over to me? That is, unless you want to keep her for yourself. Maybe I'll just get up to grab that tray she brought over even if I'm not all that hungry so I can get a closer look."

"Oh no you don't. We'll just help you move over to the cot in the corner if you don't collapse on the way there and prop some pillows behind you so you can eat the porridge she brought you when you're ready to eat something. It just might be that I'll need that table for someone with a bullet in him."


	5. Chapter 5 Brown-Eyed Blond Complication

**Chapter 5 – A Brown-Eyed Blonde Complication**

Doc introduced Kitty as a friend and sometime nurse while they slowly helped their patient get off the examining table and over the few feet to the cot. She'd prepared it for him by making it up with fresh linens and lots of pillows so he could sit up to eat. Despite feeling dizzy along with his blurred vision, Matt did most of the work, but Doc wanted as little jostling as possible of his head, so progress across the room was slow. By the time he was comfortably situated, Matt, despite a bit of nausea, had worked up an appetite and was ready to try some porridge. After all, he hadn't eaten since the picnic by the river nearly two days ago.

Over the next few days Matt's general health improved. His vision had returned to nearly normal and so had his appetite – with a vengeance. At Doc's request Chester stayed away as did Sam and Matt's other friends. Only Kitty was allowed to not only visit, but to spend long hours with the slowly recovering love of her life because Doc had explained her presence to him without resort to any personal relationship and he seemed to need her with him in order to make any progress in recovering his present and the points between since his 16th birthday. She used the time to fill him in on the people in Dodge and how she earned her living. He was quite impressed with the fact she owned the best saloon in town, according to Doc, and hoped she'd allow him to stop by for a beer at his young age.

By this time Matt was growing restless. He couldn't understand why Doc insisted he remain confined to his office and back room instead of encouraging him to explore the changes in Dodge since he'd last been in the town. For a small man the doctor was strong. Between the physician and his part-time nurse, Kitty, Matt had no chance. They never let him out of their sight and even stationed guards at the office door in case he tried to sneak out. Matt had had enough. He needed to move about and regain his strength, but most of all he needed answers.

"Doc, Kitty I feel fine. My headache's gone, I'm no longer nauseous and my vision is clear. Why shouldn't I leave so I can find work? I know I've earned my living with a gun in the past, but I can't remember where I left it. I reckon I could catch on at some nearby ranch where I won't need it."

"You would remember that gun. For the life of me I don't know why you have to play with it or any other weapon. You're right, there are other things you can do to earn your living. That's not why I'm keeping you here. Physically you're fine. Your memory isn't at fault, at least not where it concerns your gun. By the way, Kitty hid it. Here's your answer," Doc asserted as he directed Matt to a mirror on the wall of the back room.

"Doc, either those blows to the head aged me more than I'd care to admit or I'm missing a bigger chunk of my life than I thought. How old am I really?"

Doc was about to answer when a brown-eyed blonde woman about the same height as Kitty's five-foot seven inches burst into the office and stuck her head through the open door into the back room that served as Doc's bedroom. She was extremely pretty and in her late 20s or maybe 30.

"Hello Doc. I just arrived in Dodge on the two o'clock stage from Lansing. You know the place, over in Leavenworth County. I've served my time and thought I'd look up my old friends. You're looking good Matt. I hope things turn out better than the last time we saw each other. You still seeing that redhead?"

"Just which redhead would that be?" Kitty asked as she took in the scene. "Sam told me you'd been by. You caused enough trouble the last time you were here, Cara. Why don't you catch the next stage before you cause much more."

Matt watched the two women. He knew enough about women to know they knew each other and didn't like one another one bit. He was confused enough already by his image in the mirror without considering where he fit into all this. Obviously, he had a connection to both and his attachment to Kitty was more than simply patient and nurse. He'd felt all along there was a strong pull toward her, but was afraid to mention it because a grown woman wouldn't be involved with a 16-year-old boy. Maybe his face in the mirror was actually the age it looked and not that of a prematurely aged boy. Could it be the redhead Cara asked him about was Kitty? If that were true, the big man thought, then these last few days and whatever time went before he came to must have been really hard on her.

Suddenly he knew who Cara was. She was his first girl after he'd left Dodge for points south and west. He liked her then, but wasn't ready to settle down with a 14-year-old at the ripe old age of 16. She was at least 15 years older now, just as he was. It was the only explanation. He repeated his question to Doc.

"Doc, how old am I? I can wait for the answers to other questions."

"You're 32, Matt."

"Cara, I know you were part of my life when I was closing in on 16. You wanted me to marry you and become a rancher like your pa. I didn't want that. I still had to prove myself. I wasn't sure who I was. Fact is, I'm still not sure or where you or Kitty fit into it."

"If it's ok with Doc Cowboy, I think Cara and I need to fill you in on how she and I met over six years ago right here in Dodge. What about it Doc?"

Doc gave his mustache a swipe and tugged on his ear before nodding his assent to Kitty's request. He saw the look on Matt's face as he watched his reflection and then later watched Kitty and Cara react to each other. Those two women needed to tell Matt about how they came to know each other. Perhaps it would trigger something that would help the man, who was like a son, regain something of those lost 16 years. Then he thought of the best place for them to talk undisturbed.

"I'm a remarkable doctor considering what I have to work with, but sometimes I amaze myself with my brilliance. Kitty, Matt's itching to see more than my office and back room and you two need a place to talk to him without being disturbed. Why don't you take Cara and Matt up to your rooms by way of your backstairs? It's close enough that he won't have too much stimulation at once. Your place is private, so nobody will disturb you and getting there the way I suggest exposes Matt to a minimum of the town and no curious onlookers."


	6. Chapter 6 - Alone with Two Women

Note to "Guest": I purposely chose to believe Cara only apparently died at the end of the first season episode Cara. It's quite plausible she could have been near death and saved by Doc. Cara worked better in the context of my story than Dolly Winters, the Old Flame I also mentioned, because Matt was older when he met Dolly than the 16 he thinks he is in this story.

**Chapter 6 – Alone with Two Women**

Kitty willingly escorted Matt and Cara through the alleyways to a back set of stairs and up them. She made sure that Cara didn't drop behind to be alone with him by slipping her arm through the crook formed at his right elbow and entwining the fingers of her left hand with those of his right one so that there was no discrete way he could let go. Cara simply rested her right forearm on his left one knowing the redhead and perhaps others before her had turned her into nothing more than someone he cared about for old time's sake but no longer loved during the period of time that was a void for him.

At the landing Kitty reached into her skirt pocket and retrieved a key, which she inserted into the lock. Twisting it to the right, the door unlocked with a distinctive click. She moved everyone over to the left on the landing so she was by the knob while Matt was against the stair railing with Cara behind him. The door swung open at her touch and she led her companions down the hall to her rooms where she repeated the process, only this time Cara, with more space available, had the choice of keeping hold of Matt's arm and standing further down the hall or foregoing contact so she could stand behind him and Kitty looking at the opening door between their shoulders into her rival's private quarters.

Once the door was open Kitty stood just inside and ushered Matt in first, followed closely by Cara. She indicated a chair for Cara to take and pointed the she hoped temporarily confused man in her life toward the divan opposite the chair. She then took her seat next to him. For several minutes the three people sat silently staring at each other. Matt noticed Kitty surreptitiously put an almost possessive hand between them that brushed against his thigh and how Cara's expression changed ever so slightly when she did that. He took hold of the red head's hand and squeezed it slightly before letting go and moving it ever so slightly away. His head suddenly hurt as much as it had when he first woke in Doc's office but he didn't mind because of the flood of memories about Cara's last visit to Dodge that poured into it.

"Don't say anything, either of you until I finish. I've been in this room many times before. Not only that, but I remember you came to Dodge looking for me Cara. After your half-hearted suicide attempt I came to see you and then asked Kitty to help you out. She wasn't too happy and tried to warn me that you weren't the sweet innocent girl I'd left in Yuma. How long ago was that?"

"That was over five and a half years ago. No thanks to you!"

Matt hadn't quite figured what he might have done to keep Cara away for that long, but his memory was starting to return. Even so, he thought it would have been something Kitty said to her rather than what he did.

"Cara, what I did back then or why doesn't signify so I'd appreciate it if you left. I need to talk with Kitty alone if she has no objections. She's part of my here and now."

"You heard Matt. You can leave now. Then, as soon as the door closed on her and Kitty checked to see Cara was really gone she said, "All right, Mister. What's on your mind?"

"When Cara said her leaving was my doing I got flashes of you asking for $20 and me taking a train east with a gimpy fellow. Chester, I think. I feel you and I have something real special between us, and it goes back before her last visit. I remember these rooms. I only wish I had an inkling as to the details of us and that's a fact."

Is that a fact, Cowboy? I'm glad to hear it. Maybe I can help you remember a bit more of the last six or seven years."

An hour later, Matt still had memory gaps, but their intimate interlude erased all doubts as to how he and Kitty felt about each other and the deepening of that relationship with each successive year. As he dressed he was beginning to remember the layout of the current town and that he was some sort of peace officer bound by his badge and accompanying oath. He knew it often kept him from simply enjoying time with Kitty and that's what they were doing by the river before everything went black. It was the closest memory to the present and also explained why she'd temporarily hidden the symbols of his responsibilities.

"I'd better finish getting dressed before Doc wonders what happened to me and Cara is even more jealous. Kit, honey, where are my badge and gun?"

Kitty retrieved the badge from her jewelry box and the gun belt and revolver from a peg at the back of her wardrobe. Matt pinned and buckled them on, suddenly standing much straighter despite grabbing his head again as a shearing pain engulfed it. Despite it and her protests, he left the comfort of her rooms and arms. Duty called.

Matt decided it was time his town knew he was back at work. Neither his body nor his mind was 100 percent, but he was needed and capable of doing what had to be done. Still, he wasn't quite ready to go back to the office and see Chester or to deal with Doc's objections. Therefore, he took the route that would be least likely to bring him face to face with either man as he headed for the back door of the Dodge House and Cara. Noticing that Mr. Dolby was giving instructions to Howard in his office, Matt snuck a quick peek at the register. He climbed the stairs and walked down the hall to room 12.

"Cara, it's me," he said as he rapped quietly on the door. "We need to talk."

"Come on in, Matt," Cara cooed as she opened the door and sent a provocative smile his way. "How can I help where Kitty couldn't?"

"You can explain what you hope to gain. I don't remember everything, but I do know you tried to use our past to make it easy for you and your man's gang to rob the Dodge City Bank. It failed and you went to prison on my and Chester's testimony. Why take advantage of my injury?"

"I wanted to hurt you through Kitty if I could so I came here. It seemed luck was with me. I thought I had the perfect way to do it when I got out of the woman's prison near Leavenworth, came to Dodge and you thought you were 16. Believe it or not, despite all that's happened, including Jack Tolliver, part of me will always love you. You're the best man who's ever cared about me. All I had to do was win you back and push her out of the picture before you realized she was in the picture. I'm not sure if I'd actually won you back if I'd be able to leave you. Now that you know, can we try for what we once had?"

"That's not gonna happen. My badge won't allow for lasting relationships even if you've learned from past mistakes. It's something Kitty understands even if you won't. I'm not 16 and you're not 14. We've both grown up and moved on. Goodbye Cara."


	7. Chapter 7 - Better Tell Chester I'm Back

**Chapter 7 – Better Tell Chester I'm Back**

Matt left Cara sitting on the bed in her hotel room. This time he took the front stairs and walked through the Dodge House lobby onto the Front Street boardwalk. He now remembered his job and where his office was located thanks to Kitty returning his badge and peacemaker. His long strides quickly covered the two blocks that brought him to his office. Chester was by the stove about to pour a cup of coffee when Matt opened the door.

"Mr. Dillon, it's good to see yah. Does Doc know you're here?"

"Nope! Chester, if you tell him, you're fired! Is that coffee for me?"

"Sure thing Mr. Dillon! I thought you was real bad off when Doc wouldn't let me see yah, but I cain't see any wound or nothin'."

Matt showed him where the two lumps on his head had been and explained about his lost memory as best he could, including the gaps that still remained. He took his coffee over to his desk and sat in the chair behind it, immediately beginning to sort through the mail and wanted posters for a clue as to what he had to deal with. Meanwhile, Chester talked incessantly, filling him in on all the latest gossip and other general bits of information. He concluded nothing was pressing. All he needed to do was make his usual rounds to let the Street know he was back on the job after a week away.

While Matt leaned back in his chair and put his feet up on his desk reflecting on what he could and couldn't recall of his past life since turning 16, Chester swept up the office. What mail there was he'd already put on his boss' desk so there was no need to get that. He finished sweeping and putting up a fresh pot of coffee, at least for him – adding a few fresh grounds to the week-old ones already in the pot. Feeling suddenly at loose ends Chester realized he was hungry. He hadn't eaten anything since he grabbed some pretzels and hard boiled eggs off the bar in the Long Branch when he went in there to see if Miss Kitty or Sam had anything new to tell him about Mr. Dillon. That was at least two hours ago.

Once his assistant mentioned being hungry, Matt realized he hadn't eaten since he polished off everything on the breakfast tray Kitty had brought him. It reminded him of the many meals he'd shared with her alone or with Doc, Chester or any combination of the three. His mind flashed on their favorite restaurant, Delmonico's. Since both men were hungry and it was time for dinner, they grabbed their hats and walked across the street to eat their fill there. Doc and Kitty were already seated.

Doc watched Matt closely, tugged at his ear and swiped at his mustache as the two men walked toward the table to join them. From what he could tell, that overgrown public servant his table companion loved was completely at his ease. He seemed to be in full Mr. Marshal mode and as familiar with the restaurant as if he'd been eating here every day for the past week instead of recovering from amnesia in the care of his personal physician. Kitty's ploy just might have done the trick, he thought.

"It's all coming back, Doc," Matt said as he took his seat at the table. "I know I worked as a cowboy in Texas after leaving Arizona and Cara, tried my hand as a lawman until I fought in the war on the Union side, then went back to being a lawman and wound up here as the US Marshal seven years ago."

By the time the meal was over even Doc was convinced of Matt's recovery, but was it enough. He still lacked many of the details of the past 16 years and had a complete memory gap from when he and Kitty were attacked by the river until he awoke in the doctor's office thinking he was 16. That last bit was expected and so didn't bother the physician. What did concern him was what effect the remaining gaps would have on how he did his job.

The four close friends, family in a sense, left Delmonico's together and then went their separate ways. First Doc went up his stairs to grab his medical bag to so he could visit the O'Leary's whose children were down with whooping cough and any of the other ranchers and settlers out that way who might be in need of his services. Then Kitty left the marshal and his assistant at the batwing doors to the Long Branch where she planned to catch up as much as she could on her books before the late afternoon and early evening crush of customers. The marshal and jailer were left to continue toward the jailhouse.

They were about to move on down Front Street when Matt recognized something familiar about the man coming out of the Dodge House. It wasn't that he'd seen him in the lobby as he was leaving after his visit with Cara. He had, but the face or why he knew it hadn't registered. Now it did. He remembered him as Dandy Dan Holt, a crooked gambler who'd last been in town a year ago. Matt had tossed him out after Kitty caught him cheating and he tried to make trouble over it.

"Hold it, Holt. I want to talk to you," Matt announced as he strode up to the gambler and grabbed his arm.

"I don't see what we have to discuss, Marshal. I take exception to you manhandling me in the street for no reason. It's just like last year when you threw me out of the Long Branch and then out of town. However, I won't challenge you like I did then. Perhaps your recent problems have affected your judgment and reflexes? I don't think you wish to find out the answer at the moment so I won't call you out now."

"Don't concern yourself with me or any lasting effect from recent injuries. There is one thing that should concern you. If you're not out of town by midnight tonight, I'll personally see you leave on the stage to Pueblo."

"Don't worry about that, Dillon. My business in your miserable town will be concluded before then."


	8. Chapter 8 - Full Recovery

**Chapter 8 – Full Recovery**

Dinner at Delmonico's had gone well. Even Doc seemed satisfied. The good doctor smiled to himself before he opened the door to his office. His patient was well on his way to a full recovery. He watched until Kitty entered the Long Branch and Matt and Chester continued on down Front Street toward the US Marshal's office after a brief distraction. The fact that the man who was, if not a son, the favored would-be son-in-law, recognized that gambler coming from the Dodge House after not seeing him for a year proved it.

After his confrontation with Holt the lawman and his assistant continued on their way. Both men were lost in thought as they walked along toward the jailhouse. Matt wondered what Holt's business could possibly be while Chester wondered just what the gambler was implying about his boss. It continued to bother the jailer as the afternoon turned to evening and the two men went on early rounds together. However, he thought it best not to bring up his fears as they ate their supper in case it led to even the slightest hesitation should Mr. Dillon be forced into action. Still, he would talk to Miss Kitty and Doc about it given the chance. The saloon owned by Miss Kitty would be their next stop and where they'd remain until it was time for that final check of the street unless something happened.

Matt absorbed the sights, sounds and smells of the Long Branch like a thirsty man making it to an oasis in the desert just as his water ran out. Between Chester's chatter from their first encounter that day and the general atmosphere of his town Matt's mind recalled more and more of those lost moments. As each memory, both good and bad returned, the headaches that went with the new recollections diminished until they'd just about disappeared by the time he and his gimpy, ever loyal assistant entered the establishment. He scanned the room for Kitty, spotting her behind the bar as the last time he'd approached her during an early evening in her saloon came flooding back to him. It brought a smile to his lips as he remembered it was to ask her on that ill-fated picnic with maybe a little fishing thrown in. He almost didn't notice that there was no headache pain this time, not even a twinge. She returned his smile as they made eye contact, deepening his own boyish grin that he reserved solely for her.

Doc was standing at the bar beside her. The older man had escorted the young woman he thought of as his daughter to supper and afterwards back to her establishment. Soon her chief bartender Sam would return from his own supper. This would allow the owner to join Doc, Matt and even Chester, if he had no success with the new girl he was flirting with, at their favorite table by the stairs. As the tall lawman approached, she and the town's physician abruptly dropped their discussion of his returning memory and any chronic effects of the concussion. They agreed he didn't need to know about any shared lingering doubts and worries.

Sam, as always, possessed remarkable timing. He took his place behind the bar just as Matt reached it. Kitty asked the bartender to bring a pitcher of beer and four glasses to the usual table in full expectation that Chester would soon join them. As if to allow them time to relax none of the Texas cowboys or drifters and gamblers that flocked into town during the cattle season allowed their boisterous good fun to become anything more than that. Matt was grateful.

The marshal's chair faced the greater part of the room. Out of habit he kept one eye focused on the general scene so he could spot any trouble before it got out of hand. That's when he saw two men push their chairs back. Matt pushed his own chair back far enough so he could stand and take the five long strides needed to get to the combatants. He quickly step between them, grabbing the collar of each in one of his strong hands, effectively keeping the two cowboys from landing any punches. He let them go, but remained standing between them.

Both cowboys, separated by the large marshal, glared at each other. Matt's quick action avoided a general brawl with damages to men and property and, more importantly, gunplay. Their disagreement forgotten, both young men, who were hardly more than boys, winked at each other. The two, their spat forgotten, were lifelong friends so the wink was the only signal needed. Each took a simultaneous swing at the lawman, but Matt was quicker. He caught the movement in his peripheral vision. Using the advantage of his long arms, the marshal backhanded each of them before either could land a punch. Both were already disarmed by the time they were aware enough to pick themselves off the floor.

"I was gonna let you go with just a warning. Instead, I'll let you sleep it off in my jail. Chester, hold onto their six-guns and lock these two up. You can release them once I decide they're reasonably sober."

Having watched the action that had taken place in front of them, Doc and Kitty were now certain Matt was recovered enough to return to duty, even if their opinions were moot at this point. Memory gaps aside, the tall man they loved proved it by his recent actions. If nothing else, his instincts were intact. The older man and young woman smiled at each other as the peace officer moved back to their table to retake his seat. Kitty gave his hand a squeeze as he sat down to finish his beer. Her man, the she cared for so desperately, was back!

The three talked and finished off the remaining beer. Kitty was about to signal Sam for more, when Doc glanced at his watch and stood to leave.

"I'll see you two in the morning. It's time an old man got a good night's sleep now that his bed's no longer occupied by an overgrown public servant."

The couple watched the man who'd become their father figure leave the saloon for his office. Once Doc was out the door, Matt turned to her. They exchanged a look that said he was welcome to join her after closing and to stay for the night. Then Kitty watched as the love of her life stood to leave as well.

"See you later. I'll be back as soon as I finish my rounds."

As Matt left the now almost empty Long Branch he realized he'd nearly forgotten about Dandy Dan Holt. The stage was waiting in front of the depot for the passengers to board and their luggage to be strapped to the roof. He needed to check if Holt was on it or still lurking about town in a poker game. The gambler wasn't there and hadn't bought a ticket, so Matt asked the driver to await his word that it was okay to leave even if it took more than the half hour remaining before the stage was scheduled to depart. The marshal of Dodge, while still ensuring Holt left town, continued on with his late rounds. This consisted of peeking into saloons, dance halls and gambling dens that were about to close down for the night and checking the doors on the other business establishments along Front Street, other than the hotels and rooming houses, were locked up tight.

Meanwhile Chester had locked up the two cowboys in separate cells to sleep off their drunk. He returned the keys to the peg next to the heavy wooden door that separated the office from the cells and closed it. Then he dealt with the guns Mr. Dillon had taken from them and given to him. He removed the revolver he'd used to persuade the two to do his bidding from his waistband and picked up the other pistol from his boss' desk where he'd thrown it down on his way past. Next he carried both past that desk in order to lock them in the safe. Finally he settled down on his cot to read one of the dime novels he favored to wile away the time until his boss returned.

The jailer, who had dozed off, jumped up when he realized his boss was now on his late rounds alone and might very well need his help. Chester couldn't shake the feeling that the man who'd accosted his friend and employer on the street was up to no good and didn't intend to leave as ordered. He opened the heavy wooden door and glanced at the snoring prisoners before closing it again before grabbing a shotgun from the rack. Then he made his way to the street to back up the man he admired most if he had to face down Holt. Mr. Dillon seemed to be fully recovered, but what if he hesitated just a second when the gambler challenged him?

Matt had checked every place where Holt could possibly be. He wasn't anywhere, yet he hadn't bought a stage ticket and hadn't checked out of his room at the Dodge House. The hairs on the back of his neck rose as he found himself on full alert. He was in front of the bank on his way back to the Long Branch when Holt called out to him from an alley and stepped into the street far enough away from the nearest lamppost that he was partially in shadow while the marshal was in the full glow of the gaslight.

"Dillon it's time I finish my business. Once I'm paid, I'll leave or maybe not. It won't matter to you once it's over."

Matt turned at the challenge, watching for whatever slight shift in stance he could make out in the dim light. His keen blue eyes picked out a small twitch of Holt's right shoulder. Although he couldn't be sure he saw it, his instincts took over. He drew and fired as a bullet, thrown off by the impact of his own 44-caliper slug, whizzed by his left shoulder. His own slug lodged in the body of his adversary. Waiting a second to see if the man would try again, he proceeded down the street to where Holt lay dying.

Chester, who arrived at the spot as both men fired, hailed his friend and boss to let him know he was there. He now realized he'd had no cause to worry. Despite the advantage of the light, Holt had come out second best to Matt Dillon. The assistant joined the marshal by the fatally wounded gambler.

"Who hired you Holt? Whoever he is, he's worse than you."

"It isn't a man. It's a woman. Her name is Cara."

"Chester, take care of this," Matt said as Holt appeared to breath his last. "I've got some business to tend to."

Both Kitty and Doc heard the gunshots. Doc, medical bag in hand, reached the spot where Holt lay, but Matt had already left. He shooed Chester out of the way, but there was nothing more he could do. Kitty stood in the doorway of the Long Branch as the man she loved more than life itself, having survived yet another attempt on his life, walked over to the stage. He arrived in time to see the driver help a familiar blonde climb inside.

"Just a minute there, Cara. You're under arrest. Holt told me you hired him. Why?"

"If I couldn't have you, I didn't want her to have you either. Then again, she's over by her place of business and you're over here arresting me. Looks like that badge you wear over your heart has the only real claim on you."

Matt led Cara back to the jailhouse. Chester, having been chased away by Doc, was already there. He released the now awake and sober enough drunks per his boss' instructions. They were to pick up their guns when they left town to head back to where they worked some 15 miles outside of town. As soon as they were gone Matt secured Cara behind bars and walked back into his office. He hadn't bothered to frisk her, but realized he should have when the shot rang out. The two men rushed to her cell. Matt unlocked the door and they stepped inside. Despite all she'd done, he'd once loved her, albeit with the innocence of youth, and so knelt beside the dying woman, taking the derringer from her hand and giving it to his assistant.

"I've got nothing left, Matt. Dying is better than going back to prison."

"Chester, the man behind the badge whispered as Cora breathed her last, "will you see she gets a coffin? I'll pay for it. See you tomorrow at the burying."

Leaving Chester to take care of the arrangements, Matt strode out of the jailhouse's back door. Front Street was now quiet so he didn't bother sticking to the alleys. Instead he walked down the boardwalk to the front door of the Long Branch where Kitty was standing just inside the entrance, watching for his approach. The excitement out on the street had led to a few more shots of whiskey being sold so only one of the glass doors was closed.

"Would it be possible for a hardworking man to have a nightcap? I know it's past closing time, but I suddenly have a powerful need of one and the company that goes with it."

"I'll see what I can do about it. I have a certain amount of influence with the marshal in this town so I'm sure I can accommodate you if you help me lock up."

Matt stepped into the barroom and turned around to close the remaining door and lock up the saloon for the night. Sam was already gone so it was just the two of them. They climbed the stairs, their arms around each other's waists. Once inside the room, Matt deposited his hat and gun belt on the peg by the door and sat on the divan while Kitty poured them a couple of snifters of brandy.

"I thought we needed something special tonight," she said as she handed him his glass and snuggled in beside him.

They sipped their drinks content in each other's company. Then, as if by mutual consent, but without a word being spoken, they rose and put their empty glasses down on the table before starting to undress each other. Matt sat on the edge of his side of the bed to remove his boots and socks. He leaned back into the arms that surrounded him and realized she had shed her nightgown. She leaned over more, hugging him tighter as her hands that had already completed unbuttoning his pants and his union suit bottoms. Kitty gave them an initial shove toward the floor as her hands caressed his thighs and her lips his neck and back. Suddenly she let go and lay back on their bed. As if the missing pressure were a signal he stood, stepped out of his remaining garments and turned to appreciate the view. He quickly lay on the mattress beside her to explore all her body had to offer until they both could no longer hold back and joined as one. An hour later they lay side by side in the big brass bed, physically exhausted from making love.

"Cowboy, for a moment there earlier I thought I'd just gotten you back just in time to lose you forever. Holt was far from a decent man, but I didn't think he was the kind to take you on just for telling him to get out of Dodge."

"He wasn't. He did it for Cara's money. She was upset I chose you over her even before I started to get my memory back."

"I suppose I should be completely happy now that you have all your years back. You were able to beat him despite not touching a gun for more than a week and you chose me from the moment you awoke despite the memory loss."

"I'm one fortunate man, honey. It's lucky for both our sakes that some things you just can't forget."


End file.
